Because of a Mother's Dream

Ludy Tabillos

To peform a dual role as a mother and a father is not an easy task. It is the most dedicated obligation to our children to prepare for their future.

Like any other mothers who wish to go abroad, I too was quite lucky with the help of my sister-in-law, who looked for an employer for me through salary deduction. I grabbed the opportunity despite the knowledge that my would-be-employer was not so good to deal with. Indeed, they were not so good because they were like dogs barking at a helpless kitten most of the time.

I have to wake up at 5:30 am and usually go to bed at 11 pm. Their youngest son, aged seven, would sometimes ask me to carry him on my back whenever he wants to play horse-back riding. Aside from that, the children make up stories most of the time, putting me in trouble with their parents. Before I can leave for my day-off, I have to clean the house first and prepare them breakfast. And when I come home at night, I have to clean the kitchen for it is a mess.

I have tried my best to cope with the situation. I even decided to sign another contract with them, hoping that they would be nicer to me because I would be staying with them for two years. When I finished one year, I was allowed to go home for a one-week vacation. I was disappointed when I came back because they treated me the same.

My vacation was spent with my children. I let them feel my presence in many ways. I even granted the little things they wished to have. I saw to it that they eat properly, and looked after their immediate needs at home and in school. They felt more secured and happy knowing that I was around.

Days went on. Sometimes, I hid myself and cried secretly thinking that my vacation would soon be over. That day came, and whether I like it or not, I had to leave. My friends, relatives and kids were there with me. The moment they stepped down the ship that took me to manila, my children begged me not to leave them again. It was a heart-breaking scene. Quickly, I shoved them away, telling my sister to bring them home. As they turned their backs, my tears trickled down my cheeks. They were the outburst of my pent-up emotions which I refrained from showing to them.

This time, I'm back here in Taiwan trying to suppress homesickness and loneliness. My father has informed me that my children got sick after my departure. Picturing the last scene that I was with them, makes my homesickness almost unbearable. Everytime I am alone in my room, I always feel an undefined feeling. Oftentimes, I call up my friends in order to voice out my mixed emotions. Patiently, they also cheer me up by sharing some inspiring words to enlighten me.

As days passed, I sensed that my employer's attitude towards me became worse. Lately, they prohibited me from using the telephone. They shouted at me even at the slightest mistakes I made. This prompted me to answer them back. I tried to swallow my pride, but I can no longer bear it.

My happiest day is Sunday, when I go to church and there I can meet my friends and be able to share with them my sentiments, disappointments, joys and laughters. With them, I fell that I am not alone. I already have adjusted myself. To accept the reality with an open mind and to learn to live with it helps me a lot. I am sure that I am not the only mother who has a dual role in life. For those who are in the same boat with me, I have these words to share: Let's have a strong determination to overcome trials that may come our way. remember that we are far from home because of a Mother's dream.

From the experience of Filipinos
we reflect on the problem of Vietnamese workers

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